Craig - pls call me at 202-226-3668 and I can give you some data. Also if you go to
http://www.cem.va.gov/hmm/at the bottom of the page, you will find a form to order a headstone. If his grave already has a headstone, VA will not provide one. BUT, they will provide a bronze medallion suitable for mounting on the existing headstone.
According to VA, the family did receive a flag.
MB